wisdom for husbands

 

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.  Prov.  18:22

 

     This verse gives me a principle around which a solid marriage relationship revolves.  I still remember the process God took me through quite a few years ago to bring me to the point of embracing this truth.  You see, in reading this chapter one day, I realized I didn't really believe this verse.  But I quickly figured out that if I wanted my marriage to endure and grow, I needed God to do a work in my heart.  I began to pray that day, first of all confessing to God my lack of belief, and then asking Him to bring me to a point of seeing my wife as an expression of His favor.  For a number of months I continued to make that request daily, affirming what God said and asking Him to help me accept it as true.  Because I lean toward being a bit hard headed, it took some time for transformation to occur, but God is faithful and He changed my heart.  As I looked back, one fact stood out to me.  Nothing had changed about my wife.  She continued to love me and encourage me; her actions and attitudes remained the same.  But my responses to her took a turn and my life has benefitted from that change.

 

     As I studied through Proverbs, searching for wisdom principles, a number of things stood out to me.  At first glance, they may not appear to address a husband's behavior, but I think God uses direct and indirect means of communication in pushing me toward truth.

 

     I need to promote an atmosphere of peace in my marriage.

          "He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind...11:29a

          "Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure and turmoil with it. 15:16

          "Better is a dish of vegetables where love is, than a fattened ox and hatred with it. 15:17

          "Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it than a house full of feasting with strife. 17:1

Do I contribute a fear of the Lord, quietness, and love through my words and actions or do the things I say and the actions I take bring strife, turmoil, and trouble on my relationship with my wife.  These verses give a picture of God's desire for my home.  Does it line up with reality? If not, I have some work in front of me.

 

     Two verses out of chapter 21 refer to a contentious woman and the unpleasantness of living with her.  Although each of us bears responsibility for our actions and attitude, I believe as a husband I have an ability to impact my wife and keep her from moving in the direction of becoming contentious.  I have a calling to build trust in my relationship with my wife.  When I do that, she will be less likely to be combative and disagreeable.  How well I fill my role as a husband can be seen on my wife's countenance.

 

     Chapter 31 describes an excellent wife.  Two places in this chapter talk about the husband's role in promoting his wife's virtue.

          "An excellent wife, who can fine?  For her worth is far above jewels.  The heart of her husband trusts in her...vv. 10,11a

          "Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 'Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.' " vv. 28,29

One of the most important things for me to remember is that my wife needs to hear words of affirmation and praise from me.  She wants to know that I trust her and appreciate all that she contributes to the health of our relationship.  If I want a wife who demonstrates virtue and excellence, I must treat her as a valuable jewel.

 

The last nugget of wisdom I find for husbands in Proverbs centers around faithfulness.  I must honor my commitment to my wife, and guard my eyes and my heart from other women.  This comes out strongly in chapters 5&6.  Temptation toward unfaithfulness surrounds us.  It abounds in our culture, in the media, in entertainment and advertisement.  But 4:23 says, "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life."  Guarding my heart shows my wife that my commitment to faithfulness has not wavered, and contributes to the trust factor tremendously.

 

I want to grow as a husband.  Heeding these wisdom truths will help me along that path.

         

       

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thankful Thursday

 

It's been a full week.  Many responsibilities, frequent changes in planning, unforeseen opportunities.  In the midst of it all, I have a God who remains the same; ever faithful, trustworthy, powerful, and loving.  He alone deserves my praise and devotion.  He inhabits the praises of His people.  I offer Him my gratitude today for:

 

prayer

 

storms

 

night

 

quiet

 

friends

 

conversations

 

health

 

His word

 

time

 

strolling and talking with my wife

 

patience

 

completed jobs

 

grace



Wisdom in Parenting

 

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Ps. 127:3

 

 

At the start of this discussion on parenting, I need to embrace the truth of this verse.  Do I accept my children as a gift from the Lord?  Do I see them as His blessing in my life?  In the everydayness of life with kids, this truth must remain in the forefront of my mind.  There will be times when my kids test my patience, frustrate me, and even make decisions I may wish they wouldn't.  These times will accompany times when they bring joy and encourage me.  But no matter which circumstance I find myself in, the truth doesn't change.  Regardless of their actions or attitudes, children come from God as a reward.

 

Many verses in Proverbs address my role as a father.  I want to share four principles that caught my attention in my study. 

     1) I need to give instruction to my children.
This comes through in a number of ways.
Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.  Indeed they are a graceful wreath to your head, and ornaments about your neck.  1:8,9
For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights.  3:12
Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.  22:6
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.  Correct your son, and he will give you comfort, he will also delight your soul.  29:15,17
These verses show the importance of speaking truth into the lives of my children.  This benefits both them and me.

     2) I need to practice what I preach and lead by example.
I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths.  4:11
A righteous man who walks in his integrity--how blessed are his sons after him.  20:7
My children benefit from me investing time in them; walking through life with them, and demonstrating how to walk in right paths.  It blesses them when I live by the principles I teach them.

     3) I have a responsibility to provide for my family.
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children...13:22a
House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers...19:14a
Know well the condition of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds; for riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations.  When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen, and the herbs of the mountains are gathered in, the lambs will be for your clothing, and the goats will bring the price of a field, and there will be goats' milk enough for your food, for the food of your household, and sustenance for your maidens.  27:23-27
These verses challenge me.  How do I balance caring for my family, meeting their needs, and responding to other needs around the world?  Can I build up my bank account so that I have money to leave behind when there are people around me starving?  The verses in chapter 27 tell me the importance of keeping track of my financial condition.  In this way I measure the resources available for my family's day to day provision.

     4) I must speak positive words to my children.
The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.  23:24
Not only do my kids need to hear instruction from me, but they need to know I notice when they make right choices and hear my words of approval.

The challenges of parenting come in many forms.  I rejoice that God invites me to ask for wisdom, and promises to give it generously.

Thankful Thursday

 

 

It's not quite Thursday anymore, but this practice of intentionally expressing gratitude to God isn't limited to a specific time, and the conversations that kept me from posting before the clock struck midnight are one of the things I am thankful for.

 

Friends and family

 

Truth

 

God's mercies that are new every morning

 

His patience with me as I seek to obey and stumble at times

 

Campfires

 

the beauty of the night sky

 

Work that I can enjoy

 

Sweat

 

safety on the road (something I often take for granted)

 

The cross of Christ

 

Music

 

Sleep--the refreshment it brings

 

Grace

Wisdom in our Speech--part 2

 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue...Prov. 18:21a

 

Last time I gave you a glimpse into what I learned about how and when to speak as I studied through Proverbs.  Today I want to share with you my observations about the importance of the content of my words when it comes to exercising wisdom and righteousness.

 

These verses capture the scope of this study and emphasize two significant factors.

     The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. 16:1

     He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles. 21:23

First, God desires to shape my speech.  If I allow Him to, He will put His words in my mouths.  This insures that what I say will be correct.  Secondly, the words I speak carry such importance, choosing them requires diligence.  This guarding of my words not only benefits those who hear them, but it also protects my own soul.

 

I see two contrasts given throughout the book concerning what flows from my mouth.  Life vs. death, and truth vs. lies.  Prov. 18:21a, which I've chosen as the keystone verse for the study brings out the contrast of life vs. death, and throughout the book it is developed.

     10:11,21a--The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence...The lips of the righteous feed many...

     11:9,11--With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous will be delivered.  By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is torn down.

     12:6,18--The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright will deliver them.  There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

     13:3--The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

     15:7--A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.

     25:13--Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him, for he refreshes the soul of his masters.

 

Consider these verses in the contrast between truth and lies:

     4:24a--Put away from you a deceitful mouth...

     8:6,7--Listen, for I will speak noble things; and the opening of my lips will reveal right things.  For my mouth will utter truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.

     12:17--He who speaks truth tells what is right, but a false witness, deceit.

     13:5a--A righteous man hates falsehood...

     17:7--Excellent speech is not fitting for a fool, much less are lying lips to a prince.

     25:14--Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of his gifts falsely

 

I want wisdom to mark my speech.  If it does, my words will bring life and healing; they will proclaim truth to those who hear. 

 

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.  Ps. 141:3 

Thankful Thursday

Sometimes the simple activity of slowing down and reflecting helps put things back in perspective.  There are countless things for which gratitude should flow from my heart and lips.  Included in my list this week are:

The everlasting love of God

 

Prayer--the open door to communication with God

 

Water

 

My Redeemer

 

Friends

 

Our home--a place of refuge for our family and for others God allows us to share it with

 

Allison, Abigail, and Adam--three of God's richest blessings in my life

 

Renewed strength

 

The Cross

 

Time--every moment is a gift from God--am I using it wisely?

 

Grace

Belated Thankful Thursday

Sometimes the distractions of life keep me from doing the important things.  I don't know about anyone else, but I can easily get caught up in unimportant and useless activity at times.  So for today I'm very thankful for

 

God's patience with me

 

His mercies that are new every morning and are the basis of my salvation

 

God's faithfulness--He never changes

 

His word--a lamp for my feet and a light for my path

 

Rain

 

new growth

 

my wife--the expression of God's favor on me

 

music--an avenue for worship

 

forgiveness

 

grace